100 Worst Things to Say to Someone Who's Depressed
Depression is serious stuff. It's linked to brain thinning, may increase the risk of getting Alzheimer's disease, and is linked to weight gain.
But those who don't suffer much depression aren't always sensitive to the despair that often accompanies it. In fact, angry husbands have been linked to depression in their wives. (However, one study suggests that marriage provides a greater psychological boost to depressed people than to happy people, even if the marriage is so-so.)
You have to wonder why depression hasn't been weeded out of the gene pool. Some researchers say that's because depression can offer advantages, such as the ability to think intensely about a problem in an analytical way.
Anyway, there are plenty of things you should not say to someone who is depressed. At least 100 of them. Here are 10, compiled by contributors at a.s.d. (alt.support.depression):
“What’s *your* problem?”
“Will you stop that constant whining? What makes you think that anyone cares?”
“Have you gotten tired yet of all this me-me-me stuff?”
“You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear.”
“But it’s all in your mind.”
“I thought you were stronger than that.”
“No one ever said life was fair.”
“As you get stronger you won’t have to wallow in it as much.”
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
“Do you feel better now?”(Usually said following a five minute conversation in which the speaker has asked me “what’s wrong?” and “would you like to talk about it?” with the best of intentions, but absolutely no under-standing of depression as anything but an irrational sadness.)
- See all 100 useless platitudes at PsychCentral. Oh, and here are the BEST THINGS to SAY to someone who is depressed.
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