A cousin of mine recently won the proverbial lottery when he received the opportunity to participate in a 5 month long exchange program at a Japanese high school, all expenses paid.
Opportunities like this don't fall from the sky; He's a hard working young man who kept his grades up, busted his butt to get this door-opening scholarship, and might I add truly dedicated himself to learning as much Japanese as possible before even setting foot on the plane.
Unfortunately, after about 2 months of being in Japan, he's decided he doesn't like it very much. What's more, he's also decided that he will give up the fight to learn Japanese, and instead pursue fluency in German.
When first hearing about this on his blog, I was a little shocked, and confused. Did he have a bad experience? Did he feel the language was too hard?
Why the sudden lack of interest?
His first answer to this question was as vague as a Japanese brush-off; It just doesn't seem to suit me.
Still confused, I wrote him back asking for more details. He listed off some things he's found in Japan that really didn't mix with his personality or beliefs.
I started thinking about my own experiences in Japan, and some of the things I had to come to terms with. In hindsight, perhaps it would of been good to have explained (or forewarned) him about some of Japan's quirks before he traded away 5 months of his youth there.
So, here are some things you might want to know about Japan before you go there. I apologize in advance if I ruin anyone's fantasy of what Japan is (or isn't)
Tatemae Culture
Don't expect Japanese people to be straight-forward with you. They are not even straight-forward with each other! Japanese people have for the most part been brought up to be subtle, indirect, and even evasive when confronted with conflict. If you're doing something that is pissing someone off, they may never tell you, and simply find their own solution to the problem. EG. If your music is too loud at your desk, your co workers may simply start moving desks away from you rather than tell you to 'turn that shit down!'
This is all an effort to help things flow smoothly with the least amount of conflict and confrontation.
Without going into detail about it, I will also note that Japanese all possess a common sense that perhaps differs from that of a westerner's, which dictates how one should act and what is expected of one's behavior in any situation.
Of course as a foreigner no one expects you to know all the rules of society, but it's important to make every effort to follow them as you learn them. For starters, take off your damn shoes when you come into people's houses!
Being a foreigner in Japan
Unless you look Japanese, you should come to terms with the fact that when you're in Japan you look extremely different than 99% of the people there.
Not only is your appearance unique, but you're unique in a country that largely values it's sense of homogeneity. As a gaijin, you will be sensationalized, idolized, glorified, and yes, discriminated against all at once.
This has it's good points and bad points. You should embrace your role as a foreigner, realize that this unique status in Japanese society gives you a license to travel paths and open doors that most Japanese could never open, even while it shuts some other doors in your face. Your foreigner status puts you on a pedestal, with a certificate to be the life of any party, and to make mistakes and be forgiven easily.
The sooner you accept the facts the better. You will never be fully treated as a Japanese no matter how long you live there, nor no matter how fluent your Japanese becomes. If you have some sort of fantastic idea about going to Japan and becoming as Japanese as possible, you should perhaps give up while you still can.
Don't be confused though - you can have a totally valid place as an integrated part of Japanese society, but with a unique uniform, and a clearance level that is sometimes higher, and sometimes lower, than your Japanese peers. Make the best of it, and embrace the opportunities it brings.
hat is foreign vs. what is Japanese. People will go out of their way to tell you
hat is foreign vs. what is Japanese. People will go out of their way to tell you
Things you should know about Japan.
Posted on | June 24, 2010 | 26 Comments
ﾊﾞｶｰヾ(ﾟдﾟ)ﾉ゛A cousin of mine recently won the proverbial lottery when he received the opportunity to participate in a 5 month long exchange program at a Japanese high school, all expenses paid.
Opportunities like this don't fall from the sky; He's a hard working young man who kept his grades up, busted his butt to get this door-opening scholarship, and might I add truly dedicated himself to learning as much Japanese as possible before even setting foot on the plane.
Unfortunately, after about 2 months of being in Japan, he's decided he doesn't like it very much. What's more, he's also decided that he will give up the fight to learn Japanese, and instead pursue fluency in German.
When first hearing about this on his blog, I was a little shocked, and confused. Did he have a bad experience? Did he feel the language was too hard?
Why the sudden lack of interest?
His first answer to this question was as vague as a Japanese brush-off; It just doesn't seem to suit me.
Still confused, I wrote him back asking for more details. He listed off some things he's found in Japan that really didn't mix with his personality or beliefs.
I started thinking about my own experiences in Japan, and some of the things I had to come to terms with. In hindsight, perhaps it would of been good to have explained (or forewarned) him about some of Japan's quirks before he traded away 5 months of his youth there.
So, here are some things you might want to know about Japan before you go there. I apologize in advance if I ruin anyone's fantasy of what Japan is (or isn't)
Tatemae Culture
Don't expect Japanese people to be straight-forward with you. They are not even straight-forward with each other! Japanese people have for the most part been brought up to be subtle, indirect, and even evasive when confronted with conflict. If you're doing something that is pissing someone off, they may never tell you, and simply find their own solution to the problem. EG. If your music is too loud at your desk, your co workers may simply start moving desks away from you rather than tell you to 'turn that shit down!'
This is all an effort to help things flow smoothly with the least amount of conflict and confrontation.
Without going into detail about it, I will also note that Japanese all possess a common sense that perhaps differs from that of a westerner's, which dictates how one should act and what is expected of one's behavior in any situation.
Of course as a foreigner no one expects you to know all the rules of society, but it's important to make every effort to follow them as you learn them. For starters, take off your damn shoes when you come into people's houses!
Being a foreigner in Japan
Unless you look Japanese, you should come to terms with the fact that when you're in Japan you look extremely different than 99% of the people there.
Not only is your appearance unique, but you're unique in a country that largely values it's sense of homogeneity. As a gaijin, you will be sensationalized, idolized, glorified, and yes, discriminated against all at once.
This has it's good points and bad points. You should embrace your role as a foreigner, realize that this unique status in Japanese society gives you a license to travel paths and open doors that most Japanese could never open, even while it shuts some other doors in your face. Your foreigner status puts you on a pedestal, with a certificate to be the life of any party, and to make mistakes and be forgiven easily.
The sooner you accept the facts the better. You will never be fully treated as a Japanese no matter how long you live there, nor no matter how fluent your Japanese becomes. If you have some sort of fantastic idea about going to Japan and becoming as Japanese as possible, you should perhaps give up while you still can.
Don't be confused though - you can have a totally valid place as an integrated part of Japanese society, but with a unique uniform, and a clearance level that is sometimes higher, and sometimes lower, than your Japanese peers. Make the best of it, and embrace the opportunities it brings.
Don't be surprised at how big a deal is made over what is foreign vs. what is Japanese. People will go out of their way to tell you
Don't be surprised at how big a deal is made over what is foreign vs. what is Japanese. People will go out of their way to tell you that a certain TV personality or singer is hafu (the word for someone who is half-Japanese and half-something else), as if it makes any difference to you. They're just trying to connect with you, humor them.
Sexuality and Religion in Japan
It is fair to say Japan is a conservative society, but the word conservative in Japan does not mean the same thing as it does in the west.
The cultural roots of Japan are not based on Judeo-Christian beliefs, and as such attitudes towards alcohol, nudity, and sexuality might be surprising, even shocking to some people.
Kanchou Statue
It is not uncommon for families to bathe together, or for kids to bathe with their mothers or fathers all the way into their early teen years. In Japanese culture this is perfectly healthy and normal.
Japanese kids grow up making a game out chasing each other around trying to shove their 2 pointer fingers up each others' butts while shouting 'kanchou' (lit. enima)
Japan is also one of the world's leading inventors and producers of masturbatory and sex toys.
Of course no one can forget that conservative Japan is the home of the infamous Gay Wrestler Superhero Hard Gay And ironically, while the genital areas are strictly censored in Japanese pornography, a woman's bare breasts can be seen on afternoon TV.
Hard Gay
Some people might take all of this to mean Japan is full of perverts - and like any country it has its fair share - but for the most part this
Some people might take all of this to mean Japan is full of perverts - and like any country it has its fair share - but for the most part this comes from having a more grown-up, un-guilt-stricken attitude towards the human body.
Except for the 'kanchou' thing, I really can't explain that.
When all is said and done Japan - like any other country - has it's problems. In all honesty it may not suite some people's taste. The Japan that so many Japan-ophiles obsess over may be extremely different than the Japan of reality. It still is a kick-butt country, and personally I love it, even though some parts of it will forever bewilder me and even piss me off from time to time.
Consider yourself warned.
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